Interview: Gaynor Evelyn Sweeney (Artist, Curator and Author)

Interview: Gaynor Evelyn Sweeney (Artist, Curator and Author)
Title: Art and Life

08 October 2018

Interviewer: How did your interest in Art begin?

Artist: It has always featured in my life since a child. In my family creativity has always been there. In my extended family there is everything from Visual Artists, Musicians, Singers, Dancers, Writers and more. We are not an affluent family and just like any other, but creativity is something that runs through all of us in one way or another. My Great-grandfather, Charles Dalrymple-Kelly, I was told he was a Sculptor and worked on many monumental buildings in his life.

My Father in his early years was a Painter and worked as a Sign-Writer with his older brother while his other brother was a Musician and Performer for a time. My Father ended up while stationed abroad with the Scots Guard battalion and he was assigned to be their Sign-Writer as part of his extra duties and in addition produced some paintings he was commissioned to do. Like most people whom have growing families the Arts market is tenuous at the best of times and to survive to support their families took up conventional jobs and jobs very hard working and physically demanding. My Father ended up most of his working life in the Chemical industry as a Boilerman.

My parents encouraged my siblings and I to be creative and our Father when off work would sit and teach us about the different methods in paintings and even lettering. The creative persuasion was also with our Mother. She was into Arts and Crafts and that interest she applied to make things for the home and us. Anything she put her hand to naturally able to do and in turn taught my siblings and I. So, creativity has always been there in daily life in one way or another. My roots are Working Class and still are and I am proud of that, as it gave me a strong work ethic and to be independent. I am proud of my heritage and family, as they are good people and I could not ask for better parents than I have. As a child when my Father was working on new painting I would ask could I sit by him and do some Art myself. He would smile and say yes. I would get my paints and papers and sat on the floor close by to him as he painted I would be scribbling away or painting myself. I was the same with Mother. I would be engrossed watching her make something and studying ever action she did and she would show me how to do it.

I had a good upbringing from my parents and I am proud of my family and proud being Working Class. Even though I was told by some in the Arts once I was established I needed to drop the perception of myself and heritage as Working Class and deem myself Middle Class simply by their assumptions of social status and Arts. I would not, as that to me would be a deception and I am proud of where I come from and even more proud of my family. That attitude I was confronted with in the Arts I did not appreciate and considered elitist and if not more so a sham for any to adopt. I would not ever accept, as it was like saying to me I should be ashamed of where I come from and I am not. I come from a decent family and ones who I would always prioritise before any in the elite. I actually found that attitude of some in the Arts Market insulting by such snobbery and class orientated.

Interviewer: When did your Professional career start as an Artist and how did it come about?

Artist: I like most people in life had many diverse jobs to keep a roof over my head and food on the table. It was not until my late twenties I was trying to choose a career change and exactly what I did not know during that period. I had previously been commissioned as a Artist to paint portraits for people, but it was not a full-time endeavour and my prior work was in business administrations, both as a PA/Secretary and General Manager. I actually hated the mundane nature of the job, but ended up more than proficient at it that I could run circles around others. The only reason I did was my coping strategy to throw myself into the job and if I worked non-stop the monotony of it did not seem so bad. That period came to a close though when something traumatic happened and due to it being so extreme I actually became a recluse for several years after that.

I had already had prior trauma before in an earlier period in my life and managed to get through it, but the next thing when another incident I literally in my twenties went into shut down. I could not be near people I did not know. That period in my twenties for me and my family was so extreme with the duress it resulted in my Father to have a heart attack. That broke my heart. My parents are wonderful people and the pain that was caused us unjustified. Indeed, my Father is a man of strong principles and very loving, caring and supportive man. It profoundly upset both my parents and indeed myself and the whole family. During that time I knew I had to get back to the living and do something with myself and stop hiding, because that is what I was effectively doing. A recluse in my mid-late twenties when most young people are setting their own foot step in life. I hid not wanting to be away from my family's side after being badly hurt again.

I suppose some people may refer to that period in my life as a break down. It was more progressive where I pulled back from many and not trusting any external to my family. To try and keep my hand in on life I took up a Art History Degree with the Open University. It allowed me to stay away from the outside world and yet still try and do something with myself. During this period I was active with my creative practice and started producing a mass of new art work. Inside I still did not know what I wanted to do and although filling my time with Art and at times again commissioned I did not know if that is what I wanted. I had sought advice when contemplating if I wanted to take up Buddhism fully and to enter a temple permanently. I researched the subject in-depth and liaised with the head of a temple in the UK. They were bemused by me when I asked at what stage would I have to remove my hair, as my hair has always been long. I was told I should duly consider that route, as it was more apparent to them I was trying to runaway from what was troubling me and I should learn to face it. That was the best advice gave me.

I deliberated whether to join the Armed Forces and even had the interview and everything. On the day I walked out and my Father accompanied me I told him it was a mistake and not the path for me. I realised it on the day when I looked about at everyone in the Recruiting Offices and then gazed down at myself. There was me with my hair up, a navy pencil skirt suit, high heels and red nails and lipstick. Everything other than Armed Forces material. So, what was I left with? What I had already been doing and a common feature in my life since childhood. Art. The next thing my health deteriorating and my family and I could not understand why. I am not a small female, but shy six feet, so when I lose weight it is noticed quickly. I was losing weight rapidly and blacking out and having what appeared like Multiple Sclerosis symptoms. It was not that of course, but after some time and seeing several Doctors, Specialists and an array of medical tests and scans I was eventually diagnosed with the Prolactinoma and Thyrotoxicosis.

When I was told the news of the Prolactinoma, benign pituitary tumour, I did not get upset. My Mother did and broke down crying. I told her not to cry and I would be more than fine and the Specialist assured I would be. Not ever has that upset me. My first Endocrinologist was of Egyptian heritage at the local hospital and he was the Head of the department. One of the best Doctors I have ever had. He explained it in laymen terms, so I understood and there would be no worries. I had no reason to be upset, as he and his department dealt with matters. After the diagnosis that was a kick up the backside to me. I had to get back to the living and stop hiding behind my family who always there for me. Even though I had been still productive with Art and Distance Learning Art History it was time I stepped from the shadows and from under the wings of my parents. I was then over that period in my late twenties to thirty. To make the shift from my mid-twenties becoming short of a recluse I had to build up the courage to actually step out alone and face the world. I decided it was to be Art fully my new career path.

I enrolled for a Fine Art Degree with Liverpool John Moores University. Actually going to the interview and sitting there in front of people I did not know was a huge step for me to be able to do and not that they knew nor realised, as I kept secret how I had become and spent several years like a recluse and only wanted to be with my family and trusted no other after the pain and grief imposed on my family and I. I literally had to throw myself in the deep end if I was to do it and make that step and grab the bull by horns. I was determined. I had to break the shackles that had formed so reticent to venture outside fearing to be hurt again badly. I did and I went at it full steam ahead. That is not to say inside my system was not racing. It was. Even leaving the house to get on public transport was an exercise. I would close my eyes and focus on my breath and heart to calm myself.

I was very adept at hiding how I felt inside to other people about and would conceal I was literally having a panic attack and taught myself how to stifle my own breath to contain myself. I put in place so many coping strategies in life due to much that had happened and all to the outside world I always presented a face calm and composed and to keep secret how I had been hurt in life. I threw myself into the Art Degree and my determination only grew more and more. That defiance was always there anyway and I was already exhibiting and organising exhibitions and more external to the university long before I graduated. The degree to me was only formality in academia. My focus as it went on was already beyond that and I was hungry for life and impatient and wanted to do more and more.

I suppose that compulsion formed with what happened in life and then my twenties and to cause me to become a recluse and by my early thirties in a sense trying to make up for lost time. That sense of urgency to do more and more only compounded when then there was a bereavement in the family and one that has not ever been reconciled. It was after the news of that I went off on a tangent. My former practice was Painting and Sculpture, but I shifted to Digital Media and Performance Art interventions. The sadness in my family surrounding that period was immense. My family member whom had suffered the loss if I could have took away her pain I would have done. I could not and I felt useless unable to ease her grief and the only thing I could do was try and be there for support. Her children to feel the impact of it. My parents were devastated. Our poor Mother sobbed silent and our Father, whom is a typical man and not ever had any of us seen him cry, disappeared into the back garden not to distress any and hide his own tears at the tragic news.

As all that unfolding and to my own life and Art I did go off the rails. For my first Performance Art intervention I chose not to do something slight, but went all out. My own body inside ill with the endocrine problems that at times impeded frustrated me. I had a love hate relationship with my body. I would have people compliment me and I would be polite smile and say thank you, but to me it meant nothing. To the outside world my body looked fine, but to me and the truth of my own illness at times undermining me I despised, as I did not want to be stopped living life and not even by my own body and medical conditions. So, then with the bereavement in the family I started to question everything about life more and more. Not I and nor any member family ever to hurt another human being and yet all this happening and none of us could understand why? I thought to myself always have I tried to do the correct thing to how I was raised and yet all of this about happening and not any of it our choice or making.

As consequence for my first Performance Art intervention I did in the most extreme way I could and as typical of me threw myself in the deep end. I chose to use my body that I already had formed a love hate relationship with and to present it next to the most iconic piece of canonised Art I possible could. The Mona Lisa in the Louvre, France. My friends with me in France thought I was joking at first when I told them what I intended to do. I was not joking and meant it. To me it was about confronting contemporary society in how they venerate something like the Mona Lisa that is itself merely materialistic and to present flesh next to it of something that is living and feels yet itself by nature confrontational and a protest of kinds.

It is no different to such presentation in flesh to declare here stands a living person of flesh and blood and if not for exposition most would ignore and choose of that like the Mona Lisa to protect. The attitudes of society similar to how they venerate objects compared to life itself and like many of the homeless they pass in the street and step over as if they do not exist. It was not only of that why I did it, but it was also to observe the dead body of the bereaved and it hit me how fleeting life is and to the societal attitudes little worth it is given. That was my first proper Live Art intervention. To disrobe in front of the Mona Lisa and not with permission of the Louvre either. Many can not work me out. As I will not go topless on beach when on holiday like most do and yet I chose to do as I did for my first Performance Art intervention.

Some assumed I did it to cause controversy. Far from it. It was for all the said reasons to do with my own life and much about that had happened. It was in essence how life is considered nothing and objects are given greater value and credence. Before that on an Art project I had been researching the homeless. As I had before not ever been homeless I realised how can I capture an essence of a subject when I have not even in part ever experienced it. So, I chose to go and sleep rough and keep a diary. I additionally went and interviewed people who support the homeless and spoke to many homeless people. My peers, whom Artists, called me insane and could not understand me going all out. I tried to explain and said how could I know of what they experience if I did not try to understand and experience even if but an element of what they do. That experience opened my eyes to the truth and the suffering the homeless endure.

I found out on the research of the project the homeless range from children on the run through to men whom are ex-Armed Forces. I learned how broken our society is and since that project that was done nearly twenty years ago it has not improved, but things have worsened with more people losing their livelihoods, homes and to end up on the streets. That for a so-called civilised society is disgraceful. Over the years I have done an array of projects and not ever residing back to stop, but would no sooner conclude one project, but restless and off on the next. It was during this period I was then starting to be commissioned by institutions and I received my first one before I even graduated. All the influences in my life are much more than this by life experiences why I choose to do as I do and too many to list here in one interview.

Interviewer: What projects and other exhibitions have you done and of relevance to you?

Artist: Where do I start? It has been to the main part non-stop in the early stages. I was being then contracted and commissioned all over the place by many private and public interests. I was invited to present work by Curators and institutions. It was full on for many years to say the least. Not only that, but within the framework still doing my own thing as well. It was so busy I had little and no time for myself and my own personal life. It became chaotic and no sooner one project finalised, but off to the next and with some commissions crossing over.

Everything from London, New York, Paris, Copenhagen and other international locations. Invited by Curators to present work at Liverpool Biennial, Venice Biennial, Performance Art Festival (USA), Hong Kong Biennial, Berlin Kunst Salon, London Fashion Week and much more. I was tired a lot of the time and it was like that for many years organising an array of projects myself and therein commissioned and contracted for more on top. It was so hectic my concept of time itself went out the window, as it was no sooner awake each day, than showered, dressed and up and out to do what I had to do. Arrive home, prepare what I had to for the following day and then sleep to what little I achieved. I would catch up on sleep while commuting at times, whether bus, taxi, train, aeroplane.

When a window of opportunity as I had an interest personally to social issues I would incorporate charity initiatives and have done so many of them lost count. I had organised initiatives to specifically target socially deprived areas, children and disabled and to provide art materials and workshops. In addition to that I have always had a passion for the ethos of National Health Services as set down by Aneurin Bevan. I have always believed in the value and principle of it very strongly and I always will. It is one of the things this country, England, got correct. It was a post-war flagship that other countries have emulated. Yet, now by 2018 it upsets me that over these past couple of decades or so it is being stripped at for profiteering interests at the expense of the public purse and the nations health. I will not and can not ever agree with that and nor can I agree with how it has become a tool for politicization either where eugenics and euthanasia are ulterior themes being imposed on it.

The Hippocratic Oath. An oath that those of the Medical profession are meant to uphold ethical standards to do with medicine and life. That to me are the foundations of medicine and to the very histories and should always hold relevance in professional Medical practice. My mere opinion, but one again I feel strongly about. It is my strong values on this subject and indeed the support I have been given by many in the Medical profession why I took an added interest to do Art projects in conjunction with many Medical institutions. These have ranged from organising the donations of art work for permanent display in many Medical departments. Auctioning of art work to raise funds for hospitals and every penny went to the direct Medical cause on front line services. Everything from Breast and Testicular cancer, Diabetes, Emergency Department and more. I even encouraged members of Staff, Public and Patients to engage in Art practice by donating Art materials free and specifically as a focus to the patients in a cathartic approach.

My interests in cross-disciplinary Arts and Medicine did not stop there. As part of my own research for several years pursued Genetics, Stem Cell Research and particularly the ethics surrounding these subjects in a socio-cultural approach and how it was impacting on contemporary society. I have done other initiatives in Optical Engineering and many diverse themes in contemporary Science and Technology. As the years went on I shifted to more current themes and exploring the socio-political, cultural and disciplines to more alternative modes of expression with a focus to the body and significantly various outputs of Digital Media. Even at times using the world wide web to present and broadcast before it became the norm and standard it is now.

It is more in the past six years I have shifted back to what is termed conventional practice of Canvas work and Sculpture, but still with a focus and combined on some aspects of Digital Media and at times with a performative element. It was around this period I moved back to Runcorn. I had moved from Liverpool and resided in London. In all places always proactive in Art initiatives and further charity work. While living in London I not only wanted to know about the Arts Market there, but the real people of the city and went off for a time while still doing my own Professional Art practice, but to work with organisations who dealt with disability issues and another focus on young men of racial discrimination and socially deprived areas.

As per typical of me I wanted to see and experience all sides of the city, as the Arts Market is quite insular dictated more by the Upper Classes in a lot of ways. I have not ever quite understood the enigma of this where Art as a commodity becomes the impetus of the elite and yet Art itself is a cultural product in time and place and culture is something that people in the masses define themselves. So, culture really comes from the ground up and not the other way around in society. However, as a commodity it the upper echelons that like to assume and dictate of it. That to me is contradiction in terms to what Art means to me.

London I had to leave and no choice, but to and this the reason back in Runcorn where I grew up. This was due to the scandal that erupted to do with in part historical institutionalised child abuse. That itself is complicated and when I found out it broke my heart and for my own safety I could not stay in the city. In private I cried my eyes out to the truths of what goes on. That was 2012 and since then back in Runcorn. It was after this I went out to research and found many people legally campaigning on this issue and the trauma of what I discovered in London about long-standing systematic child abuse was itself not isolated to one place and nor national, but an international problem with roots back to officialdom itself.

I have since myself and others similar legally campaigned on this subject and other issues that connect to it. I have at least sincerely tried and done morally, ethically and legally the correct thing, but this is something in itself that is so extensive that needs more people to support it and indeed groups and institutions with capacity to fully confront it and make it stop. This is a subject again I feel utterly strongly about and when I discovered it my heart sank to the pit of my stomach. For daring to speak out and legally campaign myself it has impacted on my Professional Art practice in terms of some illicit whom have tried to unlawfully blacklist me. I do not regret taking the stance I did to legally campaign and would do the same again. I at least keep my integrity and dignity intact. I have tried and bothered. That to some may be deemed worthless and irrelevant, but to me it matters. The Arts Market due to the nature of it will skirt this subject.

In terms of my Art practice, I have continued and shifted back to Canvas work, as noted, but still with a twist at times to Performative and Digital Media. It is at the end of the day my Profession and it is something I will always do. I have worked in the Arts Market now many decades and creativity featured in my life since a child anyway in one way or another. From one moment in my Art career described by those of the institutions as up and coming to then be deemed less than for daring to speak out on other issues as I have. I have no regrets, as noted, as it is life itself to me that matters more and the rights of people, particular those groups in society that are innocent, vulnerable and if not more so than any other children. Even though in my own Art career I have done many diverse themes and at times some perceived as controversial, as a woman I actually hold very strong and conventional values to family, children and similar. There is life and then there is Art and is not Art merely an emulation of life itself. So, certainly on that premise alone priority must be to life itself. While Art itself can prove as a positive tool and simply a means to be cathartic at times.

Interviewer: What are your future plans with Art and life?

Artist: For the moment I am based in Runcorn, as this is where those I care about are. I have a priority to them, as they have always been there for me. Even though to a larger proportion of my adult life I have been off doing my own thing in the Arts. I am now 50 years old and regardless of age still do my Art and many projects underway. I still can not sit still. Same as a child. Same as a woman. I am already underway planning for 2019 projects and initiatives I want to set in place 2020 and onward.

In terms of my campaigning that itself will shift to support more collective initiatives, as one woman on her own can not over turn what has transgressed on many issues. Although always the same. Not afraid to confront, dive in the deep end, take the bull by the horns. Even though I had my recluse period in my twenties still I get itchy feet and restless always wanting to up and go. I know myself implicitly and I know as I get older and life circumstance to change, as it invariably does, I will up and go again. I know me. I know what I am like. I have no intentions of remaining in this country and when I make my final decision and to retirement years I will choose somewhere and be off like a bullet not to look back. Always my intentions to retire elsewhere.

In life I have been referred to as many things. Even called an enigma and paradox. That is usually by the type whom do not know me and make assumptions. To those whom do know me for all my attributes I am simply Gaynor or Gabbie to my oldest of family and friends. I can be everything from shy and quiet all the way through to gregarious, forthright, absolutely defiant and fearless. I suppose it depends on the circumstance and what traits people pull out of me really. Generally though I like my life serene and to merely either spend time with family or friends or to my Art practice and that itself is cathartic, as when in creative process just focused and concentrated on that.

Someone asked me many years ago what do I fear? I replied I am scared of nothing and terrified of everything. That itself is like a double edged sword. A paradox of kinds. Same as my strengths and weakness. One and the same. I learned that attribute in myself makes it hard for a lot of people difficult to read me. Not only of that, but when apprehensive I will not show it if I can help it, but sit present a very composed demeanour. In someways it reflects in my Art too. On the surface it appears one thing, but when analysed with objective eyes it is realised more there than not. Other questions posed to me by some what would I die for? Without a second thought and instinctively replied all I love and care about. My family. I have always stood to principle and not ever fickle and neither a coward and nor a hypocrite. Some think me irrational, as I have known at times in life if I take a stance on certain subjects it would impact on me professionally. I would still do the same and did and have and if not more so on the legal campaigns I have endeavoured these many years on children's issues.

The hunger for life is a huge drive in me. One that compels me along and a sense of urgency to always be doing something constructive and positive. So, as for future plans of Art and life that is already very much in the making by me. I do not wait for any to give me opportunities. I go out and make it myself. I learned very young to rely on myself to push forward and still do. Now it is second nature and really the only thing I know how to do. Even though I have had the unconditional support of my family if ever needed, it is not one would rely on. That duly to reasons as I love them and to me it is about me dealing with my life and my responsibility. For 2019 I am reducing the projects down and specifically concentrate on main pieces I want to research and produce. More with a centralised focus to what inspires me and passionate about. I do not stop for anything. Always pushing forward. Relentless.

Due to the stance I took to legally campaign on child abuse it not only impacted on my Professional Art activities and some to choose to ostracise me, but along the way some people whom asserted to be friends and to their own implications of certain ones said they could not fraternise with me anymore and too scared to campaign themselves. So, I got abandoned by these types and even people whom I did not abandon when they needed help. They chose to do so with me though. It still did not stop me campaigning on child abuse or the other subjects I have. If any person was ever a friend they would not have turned their backs on me simply for me doing the correct thing. Albeit all this I still pushed forward with my Arts and always will. As said, I have no regrets making the decisions I have in life. If I had chose like others have to be silent then that would make me complicit and I was too profoundly upset to find out the truth of children hurt. I could not remain quiet. My conscience would not permit me and to be silent would only condone it. I just could not. These days I just do not care what any of think of me. I have done the correct thing and for doing so paid a price that should not be paid, as I have been threatened and undermined for daring to speak out. I am not alone in that. Many of the campaigners experience similar.

Things happen for reasons and sometimes those reasons are not apparent in the immediacy, but once all is said and done and reflecting on much to aftermath a person learns it all makes perfect sense in the end and indeed why I am as I am and I will not change. As much as I adore pursuing Art I will always hold to principle and try and do the correct thing. Even knowing the consequence it brings in a world that is itself not all a bed of roses. Yet, to me what matters are those implicit moments of utmost contentment and usually with those I love and that puts everything into perspective and any painful experiences dissipate to the shadows. It is simply life to me and getting on with it and my Art is merely part of it and indeed if I have campaign then that as well. Art is something to express what is all about.

Interviewer: What do you want to be remembered for?

Artist: Now at fifty years old I do not care if I am not ever remembered. Why would I? I will be long gone and that alone makes it irrelevant to me to even contemplate such assumptions.

Interviewer: What advice would you give any young Artists?

Artist: It depends what they want from Art and life. Some seek the satisfaction it brings. Others primarily want the assumed life style, fame and money. I would say be realistic and know what you are getting into, as even now in this day and age it is still a very fickle and tenuous market due to the greater persuasion of the elite and where the likes are corruption not far behind. I regret nothing I have done. Even at times knowing decisions I made like legally campaigning on child abuse would come with consequence and impact on my Professional Art career. I still do not regret it and I would do so again. People need to be eyes wide open and to understand not only the positive opportunities, but the pitfalls as well and above all else stay true to themselves. Many years ago I met a woman by accident going around the Art exhibitions. We got talking and she explained to me the biggest mistake a lot of Professional Artists do is to believe in their own bullshit or the myths media in the Arts Market generate about an Artist. She was from New Zealand and said she was an Artist and I never got her name, but what she said made absolute sense.

For more information go to: www.gaynorevelynsweeney.webs.com

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